I Am A Hermit

I get out of my house 4 times a month. Obesity took away my ability to drive. 240 pounds is obese for a woman 5’2. I lost my ability to walk & the slightest effort took away my ability to breathe. I could no longer take care of myself. I was embarrassed & ashamed of myself & restricted myself to only leaving my house 4 times a week. My husband would go out & get me food,medicine,whatever I needed. I couldn’t clean my house & of course I couldn’t exercise. I had a list of aches & pains. I never felt good,never any energy. I gave up on my dreams & abandoned my hobbies. 

For the past year I have been taking 7 naps a day & awake all night. I won’t see a doctor,cuz I am ashamed of what obesity has done to me. I’d rather hide in this battered old shack,where I can’t be seen…a dirty old secret…a nasty memory long sense forgotten. 

As the victim of emotional & mental abuse I gave up on myself many years ago. My husband destroyed my self esteem. It wasn’t eating huge amounts of food that made me obese…not at all. I was emotionally & mentally battered…a nervous wreck,depressed,stressed,anxious,overflowing with fears,& at times suicidal. He attacked me daily…raging out of control,although I had done nothing to provoke him. Before you scold me & tell me I should’ve left…I couldn’t…he had me captive,without money,resources,family,or friends…and still does. 

beautiful-fallen-angel

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About Brenda Cooper

I've been a student & user of the Laws Of Attraction for over 30 years. I remain poor,a hermit,& abused, I am in my 50s & my husband is in his 60s. I have 2 young adult sons. Blogging is my therapy. My grandest dream is to move to Green Cove Springs Florida,
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