I rarely eat a meal & most certainly don’t eat anything healthy. I can’t stay awake long enough to microwave a meal,so I attempt to live on jello,yogurt,& oranges…quick grab & eat foods. Sometimes I’ll have a candy bar or ice cream. I’m painfully weak,can hardly walk or even move. I binge on booze cuz its nearly the only thing I can do.
I talk & dream about those delicious soups,but I never have the strength to make them. If I stand beyond 2 minutes I fear I will collapse,hit my head,& die. I know this is an unhealthy way of eating is killing me & hate it. I’m starving,but not losing weight,but not obese. My belly is my BIGGEST problem.
Eating is difficult…& so I starve. I have 7 naps a day. I am always falling asleep & my son checks to make sure I’m still alive.
I have lung spasms,great difficulty breathing,allergies,aches,pains,high blood pressure,great difficulty walking,sleep most of the day,awake all night,cramps in my hands,digestive troubles,sinus infection,poor vision,constipation,weak bladder…I’m swollen & bloated so severely…well,strangers stare at me like I’m a freak or going to die any second. I’m fatigued,exhausted…stressed,depressed,anxious,& worried. I have rapid heartbeat…irregular heartbeat. I shake & tremble. My lips & skin are dry & scaly. Its only by the grace of God I am alive.
My Big Beautiful Dreams 
And yet you STILL continue to make excuses and won’t do anything about it.. You can happily walk to the fast food joint and fit into the booths, but can’t stand by a microwave? Get a chair for your kitchen then! And you missed ‘adrenal fatigue’ off the list… By the way, at your height and weight I hate to tell you, but yes you are obese, medically speaking. Keep making excuses for yourself and not changing, it’s been working out SO well for you so far… You know if you put a 10th of the energy into changing your life that you do into dreaming up new excuses, you’d be thin and happy by now. It’s your son I feel most sorry for not you.
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My son is 22 & my other son is 18. They are adults,not children. Don’t crow about knowing me,my family,& everything about me. You know only what I blog about & that’s not evening the beginning of it. I blog about diet & health…the rest is kept away from the public.
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You just said your son checks if you’re alive or not… I think anyone in their right mind would feel sorry for him whether they are adults or children! Because they are adults is no excuse to burden them like that, that’s just cruel. Especially when 90% of the health problems you just mentioned can be improved or cured with weightloss and a sensible diet… Why put your kids through all that when you could change it? Your diet is appalling and you know it, which will affect the rest of your life and every aspect of it. It’s like putting the wrong fuel in a car: it won’t run properly and eventually it will break down. The thing I object to is this: you KNOW how to improve your life, but instead of doing it you just blog about how awful it is and blame absolutely everything else except yourself.. I know more than just your diet and health from your blog.. I know you claim your husband is abusive, your son moved in with his girlfriend who you don’t like very much, you are apparently bed ridden most of the time, you have had depression since childhood etc etc etc, I could go on and on, and I’ve only been reading your posts for a couple of weeks! If you don’t want your life to be open and up for criticism, don’t post it on the Internet. Whatever I say is always to try and help you, but you’re not even willing to try and change because it’s easier to wallow and die unhappy than it is to get up and do something about it.. I know this because I’m struggling too. But at least I have the guts to admit I have a problem with food, recognise the damage that is doing to my life and the motivation therefore to change. If I had kids, I’d have the best motivation in the world to change! Right now though I’m doing it for myself and the family I might have in the future.. You actually HAVE children to do this for.. It would probably only take you about 4 weeks to start feeling better… What’s 4 weeks against the rest of your life?
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