I am either way back in the past,reliving horrible situations,or I’m deep into the future looking for that light at the end of the tunnel. There’s no peace,no rest,nothing but darkness,fear,& dread. I need to sob,to scream. I want to escape…vanish. I’m either living in the past or in the future. Its unbearable. I’m going to end up in a mental hospital.It seems I’m always playing with worst case scenarios…a terrible game to play…mental & emotional assault…adding salt to fresh wounds…emotional & mental abuse.
Through the chaos I can hear God whispering to me…I want to run to Him…& then I remember…He was in the center of the turmoil…no,I can’t go back there. Leave me injured on the cold,wet rocks…let me become a far distant memory.