My fear of being alone is why I dread my son leaving home to look for a job. I haven’t been alone in years. Being in a quiet,empty house is terrifying & deeply depressing. Alone with my deteriorated health,in this old deteriorated house,in this frightening neighborhood…chilling.
My son is 24 & a good driver…a careful,cautious driver. I do worry about him,but I also fear being alone. I don’t feel safe,not in this neighborhood,not in this house,not with me being sickly.
Being alone triggers my anxiety & deepens my depression. I feel like I did on school mornings. I’m terrified. I don’t feel safe. Nobody is here to protect me & keep me safe. I’m outside of my comfort zone. Worst case scenarios. Every noise is a threat,signaling danger. I’m phobic,quickly slipping into full blown panic. Heart is racing,shortness of breath,feeling weak. I’m hyper-alert,noticing every noise,every movement. I’m having an extreme anxiety attack.