We had dinner with my youngest son last night & played the game of Life until midnight. We all 5 had fun.
Today is off with a heavy dose of depression. I was scrolling Twitter & there was a picture of an old man & woman. I’m 53 & its depressing. I don’t want to be old,gray haired,& wrinkled. I’ve been profusely depressed ever since I turned 50. Why can’t I be 18 again? Speaking of age,my husband’s Mom turned 93 yesterday. I don’t want to be an old woman. I already feel old. I know I can’t stop it,unless I get killed,& naw,I don’t want to die. I don’t want the gray hair,wrinkles,& diapers. My husband is 62 & already has gray hair. I’m lucky,so far,no gray hairs & no wrinkles. I’ll be 54 July 10. OMG I’m heading for 60. I’m terrified. I’m unbearably depressed. Why even bother with hobbies & losing weight?
That’s what social media & the news does to me…triggers depression & or anxiety. In my visions I can look amazing & be slender & fit. Maybe I can use subliminals to ward off gray hair & wrinkles. Maybe I can become a child of God & be content & peaceful,free & high on the spirit.