its here & I am not really interested. Its the call to return to God,my Abba Daddy. I am reminded of the relationship with Him that was complex,confusing,& always left me angry & depleted. It was like a full-time job,a dreaded chore,a toxic relationship. It was like working a job I hated. I felt I had to be perfect & sinless. It wasn’t possible. I didn’t trust God & only wanted what I thought He would give me or do for me. He provided the barest of basics & never has seemed to care that my family & me are living in a dangerous old rental house in a horrible neighborhood. They say God is love…I’ve never experienced that. Time after time He has tested me past the breaking point…at times leaving me suicidal. He has taken far more than He has given. He has been harsh & cruel. He has left me at the edge of death. He isn’t what the bible claims He is. I’m done.